When I hear the word “revision” I sigh and think to myself, “what else more can I do to this paper?” Usually I’m so tired after writing a paper and I just don’t want to deal with it anymore than I already did. Since I’ve been in the Forum class and getting second chances to revise my work I’ve noticed that I need revisions to help my writing; that I’m not the world’s best first draft writer. Also, it helps my grade go up. But, I’ve noticed that some of my best work and a better grade come from revising three or more times.
When I revise my own work, first, it depends on the time of day. If it’s late at night I won’t revise it till the next day. But if I’m able to finish something before the late hours I will usually read through it right after and check for grammar mistakes. After, depending on how I’m feeling I will either move to something else like other homework, reading, or rest. If I’m really on a roll I will read through it again aloud and revise the sentences. Last I take it to someone to revise the little things that I missed because most of the time it’s hard to revise your own work because you know your style and everything makes sense even though it could be confusing to someone else.
So far this revision method I’ve got going is working out well for me. I haven’t had any problems with it. And I’ve been pretty happy with my grades from using my revision technique.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Changing the World
“By definition, writers are people who care enough to try to share ideas with other people.” What if we consider ourselves writers, but we don’t share our ideas with others? Does this mean, to Pipher, that those people aren’t considered writers?
In my experience I’ve been a quiet writer as what I like to call it. Writing stories for myself, and writing in journals. As of right now I keep my ideas, observations, and dreams to myself, but if I were to share one idea I’d share my idea of traveling for yourself and not for anyone else. When I say anyone else I mean doing a study abroad.
This is obviously all opinion about studying abroad because I’m sure it’s a great experience, but I feel you learn more when you’re traveling by yourself or with one or two other people and you can freely travel about and not have to worry about going to class. Although I’ve never studied abroad and don’t have any experience with that I have walked around cities that I’ve traveled to in America by myself and felt so free. I was able to do whatever I wanted whenever I felt like it and I felt like I learned more about the culture and the city itself. I want to share this idea with others because I think everyone should learn about culture and the traveling experience at their own pace and not have to feel restricted about going to class in a beautiful city in a different country.
I’ve always dreamt of being published in a magazine and I feel like my idea could be a good topic to write about. On the other hand I would have to travel myself to actually be credible for a published article. I couldn’t just write my opinions on traveling and expect to be published.
If I did experience traveling and wrote about it and people read it then people could learn from my experiences and could be inspired to do what I did. I personally love to read about other people’s ideas and experiences and take them into consideration so then eventually I could experience the same as they did. From reading my ideas, I'd hopefully inspire people to live it up like I did and to create their on experiences and ideas just from reading mine.
In my experience I’ve been a quiet writer as what I like to call it. Writing stories for myself, and writing in journals. As of right now I keep my ideas, observations, and dreams to myself, but if I were to share one idea I’d share my idea of traveling for yourself and not for anyone else. When I say anyone else I mean doing a study abroad.
This is obviously all opinion about studying abroad because I’m sure it’s a great experience, but I feel you learn more when you’re traveling by yourself or with one or two other people and you can freely travel about and not have to worry about going to class. Although I’ve never studied abroad and don’t have any experience with that I have walked around cities that I’ve traveled to in America by myself and felt so free. I was able to do whatever I wanted whenever I felt like it and I felt like I learned more about the culture and the city itself. I want to share this idea with others because I think everyone should learn about culture and the traveling experience at their own pace and not have to feel restricted about going to class in a beautiful city in a different country.
I’ve always dreamt of being published in a magazine and I feel like my idea could be a good topic to write about. On the other hand I would have to travel myself to actually be credible for a published article. I couldn’t just write my opinions on traveling and expect to be published.
If I did experience traveling and wrote about it and people read it then people could learn from my experiences and could be inspired to do what I did. I personally love to read about other people’s ideas and experiences and take them into consideration so then eventually I could experience the same as they did. From reading my ideas, I'd hopefully inspire people to live it up like I did and to create their on experiences and ideas just from reading mine.
CWC Ideas
Organizations & Ideas:
Utah Arts Festival:
1. Help find more local artists through advertising in all the local newspapers and magazines.
• I'd contact Matt Jacobson.
• The audience would be SLC locals who read the local media and local artists.
• I expect more local artists to apply to the UAF.
• No research
• I chose this organization because I love local art and I would also like to see new, featured artists.
• Interview questions:
1. What do you look for when an artist applies?
2. What kind of art would you like to have featured?
3. Any particular art that you won’t feature?
4. Do the artist get paid?
5. Would you ever expand to more weekends?
6. How many people usually attend?
7. Is it only artists from SLC?
8. Or from all over the state?
9. How much do you promote for artists?
10. Are there a lot of the same artists every year?
2. Help get more people involved and volunteering by also advertising in local newspapers and magazines.
• Kaye Wankier
• The audience would be local potential volunteers
• I expect more people to want to volunteer
• I know a few people who volunteer already so I know a little bit about the volunteer process.
• I chose this idea because I feel like a lot of people should volunteer for this great organization.
• Interview questions:
1. How many volunteers do you need?
2. Approximately how many volunteers volunteer every year?
3. What do the volunteers do at the event?
4. Would you ever turn down volunteers?
5. How many people would you expect to volunteer after seeing ads?
6. What kind of people usually volunteer?
7. Fkdalfkdla
8. Fkdlafkla
9. Fkdalkfal
10. Dkalda
3. Help get more sponsors because organization could always use more money.
• Lisa Sewell and/or Patrick Burns
• Audience would be the sponsors
• More money for the festival
• No research
• Interview questions:
1. How many sponsors do you have?
2. How many would you like to have?
3. How much money does the event make each year?
4. Do the artists get paid?
5. Is each year with sponsors different?
6. Do some back out?
7. Is there a contract involved?
8. What do you have to do in return?
9. When does the whole process usually happen?
10. Are there any similar sponsors?
No More Homeless Pets in Utah
1. Help promote the organization to get people to come volunteer.
• Maranda Hawkes
• Audience would be potential volunteers
• More volunteers to help with the animals
• No research
• Interview questions:
1. How many volunteers do you need?
2. How many volunteers volunteer each year?
3. Would you ever turn down volunteers?
4. How many people would you expect to respond to ads?
5. What kind of people usually volunteer?
6. When is a good time for people to volunteer?
7. Do you need more people to foster or volunteer during the day?
8. How do the volunteers help?
9. Are there any programs that need volunteers?
2. Help set up a booth at an event and bring animals to get people to adopt
• Danielle Slaughter
• Audience would be potential event coordinators
• To line up events to set up a booth
• No research
• Interview questions
1. What events would you like to be at?
2. How many dogs and cats would you bring?
3. Do people adopt on the spot?
4. How much does it cost to adopt?
5. What is the process of adoption?
6. How many people would you expect to adopt on the spot?
7. How many people would you like to adopt on the spot?
8. When is the highest adoption rate?
9. Why that specific time?
10. Who usually adopts?
3. Help set up a lecture at Westminster and/or the U to talk about the organization
• Danielle Slaughter
• Audience would be students and potential volunteers
• To inspire people to volunteer
• No research
• Interview questions:
1. How many schools would you do a lecture at?
2. How many lectures would you do at that school?
3. How many people would you expect to volunteer after a lecture?
4. How many people would you expect to attend the lectures?
5. How many people do you expect to adopt after?
6. When would be a good time to do a lecture at a school?
7. Why that specific time?
8. How would the lecture benefit the listeners?
Salt Lake City Bike Collective
1. Help promote to get people involved and to volunteer with the programs
• Hailey Broussard and/or Evan Mitchell
• Audience would be SLC locals
• More people would volunteer
• Some research
• Interview questions:
1. How many volunteers do you need?
1. How many volunteers volunteer each year?
2. Would you ever turn down volunteers?
3. How many people would you expect to respond from ads?
4. How many of the volunteers actually buy bikes?
5. How many of them actually own bikes?
6. How many people participate in the programs?
7. How do the volunteers help?
8. What kind of people usually volunteer?
9. When is the best time for people to volunteer?
2. Get an article in newspapers about the bike collective
• Jonathon Morrison
• Audience would be SLC locals
• To get people inspired to volunteer and donate
• Some research
• Interview questions:
1. Would you accept donations after people read an article on bike collective?
2. How much would you want?
3. How many people normally donate?
4. How many more people would you like to donate?
5. How would donations help the programs?
6. What trips for programs would you like to take with the extra budget?
7. How many people participate in the programs?
8. Would you have more people sign up for them if there was a higher budget?
9. What type of people normally donate?
10. Do you ever turn down donations?
3. Help build another bike program that they could be considering
• Hailey Broussard & Evan Mitchell
• Bike collective staff and then people who join the programs
• Bike collective could have another amazing program that helps people
• Some research
• Interview questions:
1. How many programs are you guys running right now?
2. How many are for kids?
3. How many are for adults?
4. Would it be beneficial to add another program?
5. Would more people sign up for the new program?
6. How would it help the organization as a whole?
7. How many trips do you take with the program?
8. How many kids are signed up for the programs?
9. How many adults?
10. How do the programs benefit the people?
Utah Arts Festival:
1. Help find more local artists through advertising in all the local newspapers and magazines.
• I'd contact Matt Jacobson.
• The audience would be SLC locals who read the local media and local artists.
• I expect more local artists to apply to the UAF.
• No research
• I chose this organization because I love local art and I would also like to see new, featured artists.
• Interview questions:
1. What do you look for when an artist applies?
2. What kind of art would you like to have featured?
3. Any particular art that you won’t feature?
4. Do the artist get paid?
5. Would you ever expand to more weekends?
6. How many people usually attend?
7. Is it only artists from SLC?
8. Or from all over the state?
9. How much do you promote for artists?
10. Are there a lot of the same artists every year?
2. Help get more people involved and volunteering by also advertising in local newspapers and magazines.
• Kaye Wankier
• The audience would be local potential volunteers
• I expect more people to want to volunteer
• I know a few people who volunteer already so I know a little bit about the volunteer process.
• I chose this idea because I feel like a lot of people should volunteer for this great organization.
• Interview questions:
1. How many volunteers do you need?
2. Approximately how many volunteers volunteer every year?
3. What do the volunteers do at the event?
4. Would you ever turn down volunteers?
5. How many people would you expect to volunteer after seeing ads?
6. What kind of people usually volunteer?
7. Fkdalfkdla
8. Fkdlafkla
9. Fkdalkfal
10. Dkalda
3. Help get more sponsors because organization could always use more money.
• Lisa Sewell and/or Patrick Burns
• Audience would be the sponsors
• More money for the festival
• No research
• Interview questions:
1. How many sponsors do you have?
2. How many would you like to have?
3. How much money does the event make each year?
4. Do the artists get paid?
5. Is each year with sponsors different?
6. Do some back out?
7. Is there a contract involved?
8. What do you have to do in return?
9. When does the whole process usually happen?
10. Are there any similar sponsors?
No More Homeless Pets in Utah
1. Help promote the organization to get people to come volunteer.
• Maranda Hawkes
• Audience would be potential volunteers
• More volunteers to help with the animals
• No research
• Interview questions:
1. How many volunteers do you need?
2. How many volunteers volunteer each year?
3. Would you ever turn down volunteers?
4. How many people would you expect to respond to ads?
5. What kind of people usually volunteer?
6. When is a good time for people to volunteer?
7. Do you need more people to foster or volunteer during the day?
8. How do the volunteers help?
9. Are there any programs that need volunteers?
2. Help set up a booth at an event and bring animals to get people to adopt
• Danielle Slaughter
• Audience would be potential event coordinators
• To line up events to set up a booth
• No research
• Interview questions
1. What events would you like to be at?
2. How many dogs and cats would you bring?
3. Do people adopt on the spot?
4. How much does it cost to adopt?
5. What is the process of adoption?
6. How many people would you expect to adopt on the spot?
7. How many people would you like to adopt on the spot?
8. When is the highest adoption rate?
9. Why that specific time?
10. Who usually adopts?
3. Help set up a lecture at Westminster and/or the U to talk about the organization
• Danielle Slaughter
• Audience would be students and potential volunteers
• To inspire people to volunteer
• No research
• Interview questions:
1. How many schools would you do a lecture at?
2. How many lectures would you do at that school?
3. How many people would you expect to volunteer after a lecture?
4. How many people would you expect to attend the lectures?
5. How many people do you expect to adopt after?
6. When would be a good time to do a lecture at a school?
7. Why that specific time?
8. How would the lecture benefit the listeners?
Salt Lake City Bike Collective
1. Help promote to get people involved and to volunteer with the programs
• Hailey Broussard and/or Evan Mitchell
• Audience would be SLC locals
• More people would volunteer
• Some research
• Interview questions:
1. How many volunteers do you need?
1. How many volunteers volunteer each year?
2. Would you ever turn down volunteers?
3. How many people would you expect to respond from ads?
4. How many of the volunteers actually buy bikes?
5. How many of them actually own bikes?
6. How many people participate in the programs?
7. How do the volunteers help?
8. What kind of people usually volunteer?
9. When is the best time for people to volunteer?
2. Get an article in newspapers about the bike collective
• Jonathon Morrison
• Audience would be SLC locals
• To get people inspired to volunteer and donate
• Some research
• Interview questions:
1. Would you accept donations after people read an article on bike collective?
2. How much would you want?
3. How many people normally donate?
4. How many more people would you like to donate?
5. How would donations help the programs?
6. What trips for programs would you like to take with the extra budget?
7. How many people participate in the programs?
8. Would you have more people sign up for them if there was a higher budget?
9. What type of people normally donate?
10. Do you ever turn down donations?
3. Help build another bike program that they could be considering
• Hailey Broussard & Evan Mitchell
• Bike collective staff and then people who join the programs
• Bike collective could have another amazing program that helps people
• Some research
• Interview questions:
1. How many programs are you guys running right now?
2. How many are for kids?
3. How many are for adults?
4. Would it be beneficial to add another program?
5. Would more people sign up for the new program?
6. How would it help the organization as a whole?
7. How many trips do you take with the program?
8. How many kids are signed up for the programs?
9. How many adults?
10. How do the programs benefit the people?
Monday, September 12, 2011
ch. 6
Firsthand observations fit very well with my Client Report project because the five of us have experienced firsthand leaving the library feeling unproductive during finals week because we hadn’t gotten in as much studying as we hoped. We’ve also experienced firsthand the library being too packed with students; it is a challenge to snag a computer. It’s like waiting in a full parking lot for someone to leave. We’ve observed other students feeling the same way. We’ve observed students leaving the library at 11 p.m. unsuccessful with their projects or papers because they need to finish them and they also require the free printers that the library offers. Also unsuccessful at getting what they needed to get done on a school computer because they had to wait so long for one. We want to study longer.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Business Letter Final
Lauryn Simmons
1395 S. Browning Ave.
Salt Lake City, UT 84105
(203)246-8658
1395 S. Browning Ave.
Salt Lake City, UT 84105
(203)246-8658
Brittney Almeida
922 E. 2100 S.
Salt Lake City, UT 84106
Hello Miss. Almeida,
My name is Lauryn Simmons and I am a frequent customer at your location. I go to your location because every time I’m shopping I feel like I’m welcomed. Everyone is very friendly and always willing to help when I need it. One day I was checking out and the Kraft Macaroni and Cheese had a sign in the aisle that said ten for a dollar. I had five items and usually it would take me 5 minutes, but this check out took me about twenty minutes trying to figure out the sales. The cashier and I went to the aisle where the macaroni and cheese was to verify the sale. I was frustrated because I was late for an appointment.
Although this employee was very nice and apologetic when she saw the sale sign, but it just shows the lack of knowledge of your employees of all the current and updated sales in your store. I understand your store is very big and the sales change all the time and it’s hard to keep track of everything, but I suggest giving each cashier a list of all the sales going on in the store. Also if something doesn’t ring up correct and the cashier questions it, he or she should not hesitate to ask a manager or have the bagger double check the sales.
I hope you take this letter into consideration, best of luck.
Sincerley,
Lauryn Simmons
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Business Letter Final
Lauryn Simmons
1395 S. Browning Ave.
Salt Lake City, UT 84105
(203)246-8658
Brittney Almeida
922 E. 2100 S.
Salt Lake City, UT 84106
Hello Ms. Almeida,
My name is Lauryn Simmons and I am a frequent customer at your location. I go to your location because every time I’m shopping I feel like I’m welcomed. Everyone is very friendly and always willing to help when I need it. One day I was checking out and the Kraft Macaroni and Cheese had a sign in the aisle that said ten for a dollar. I had five items and usually it would take me 5 minutes, but this check out took me about twenty minutes trying to figure out the sales. The cashier and I went to the aisle where the macaroni and cheese was to verify the sale. I was frustrated because I was late for an appointment.
Although this employee was very nice and apologetic when she saw the sale sign, but it just shows the lack of knowledge of your employees of all the current and updated sales in your store. I understand your store is very big and the sales change all the time and it’s hard to keep track of everything, but I suggest giving each cashier a list of all the sales going on in the store. Also if something doesn’t ring up correct and the cashier questions it, he or she should not hesitate to ask a manager or have the bagger double check the sales.
I hope you take this letter into consideration, best of luck.
Sincerley,
Lauryn Simmons
1395 S. Browning Ave.
Salt Lake City, UT 84105
(203)246-8658
Brittney Almeida
922 E. 2100 S.
Salt Lake City, UT 84106
Hello Ms. Almeida,
My name is Lauryn Simmons and I am a frequent customer at your location. I go to your location because every time I’m shopping I feel like I’m welcomed. Everyone is very friendly and always willing to help when I need it. One day I was checking out and the Kraft Macaroni and Cheese had a sign in the aisle that said ten for a dollar. I had five items and usually it would take me 5 minutes, but this check out took me about twenty minutes trying to figure out the sales. The cashier and I went to the aisle where the macaroni and cheese was to verify the sale. I was frustrated because I was late for an appointment.
Although this employee was very nice and apologetic when she saw the sale sign, but it just shows the lack of knowledge of your employees of all the current and updated sales in your store. I understand your store is very big and the sales change all the time and it’s hard to keep track of everything, but I suggest giving each cashier a list of all the sales going on in the store. Also if something doesn’t ring up correct and the cashier questions it, he or she should not hesitate to ask a manager or have the bagger double check the sales.
I hope you take this letter into consideration, best of luck.
Sincerley,
Lauryn Simmons
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Working in Teams
Many minds are better than one is definitely a benefit of working as a team. With more people in the group there is more chances for great, creative ideas. One person could definitely come up with some great ideas, but they may not think of all the ideas that a group with 2 or more could come up with. On the other hand, a group could be waiting on another group member to pull their own weight in coming up with an idea and that could put stress on a group. I experienced this in a previous group where we all brought some great ideas to the table and those ideas got us a good grade.
Team members help each other past the frustrations and stress of writing. This is could be beneficial because everyone helps each other out with the writing portion of the project by doing their assigned section and also help each other out by giving advice on other member’s sections. This could also be a big challenge to a group because a group member could not do as much as everyone else and then the other people have to go in a do that person’s section. This could cause stress and frustration. I was in a group and someone didn’t do as much as they were supposed to and the deadline was the next day so the rest of the group had to do what that person didn’t.
Team members help each other past the frustrations and stress of writing. This is could be beneficial because everyone helps each other out with the writing portion of the project by doing their assigned section and also help each other out by giving advice on other member’s sections. This could also be a big challenge to a group because a group member could not do as much as everyone else and then the other people have to go in a do that person’s section. This could cause stress and frustration. I was in a group and someone didn’t do as much as they were supposed to and the deadline was the next day so the rest of the group had to do what that person didn’t.
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